I wanted to see the Raccoon. I got my wish.
So, the Raccoon is awesome. But the rest….
Well, I have a couple of issues with it.
There is a condition, if you may call it that, observed sometimes in artists, animators, moviemakers, singers – they start to see the finished product not as a single object of art, but as a sum of its parts. The key frames, the montage, the color scheme, the dialogue are separated in your mind as you observe the product, a movie in this case. I won’t call myself an awesome professional or anything, but I have been working mostly with storyboards and scripts for the last decade…
And, with all the hype surrounding this feature film, I found myself, well, disappointed.
- There are a few issues with the montage, like in the temple scene with the rats – StarLord has a rat in his hand in one shot, and then he doesn’t, and then he’s got it again and singing into it, stuff like that, but I will give it a pass. Yet in the space scene when he takes off his helmet, you can see SL’s bloodshot eyes. In the next scene they are back to normal. These are small things, and I would generally ignore them, but I saw the movie on IMAX. And these little things just pop right at you.
- The other thing that bothered me is the artificialness of most scenes and actions. You can see people walking right into the camera, to a precise place, striking a pose and saying something generic or profound. It screams ”fake!”. Saldana’s wooden acting doesn’t help. Nobody’s acting helps. Except the Raccoon. He’s awesome. And by the way, the reason that he is awesome is precisely because he is not artificial. He has the most normal pieces of dialogue in the entire movie. The rest of the cast are somewhat cliché. And the extras and ancillary characters are BLAND. Rooker was ok, I guess, but del Toro was given like two minutes of screen time, and then that’s it. The characters in the Nova Corps are either forgetful or outright generic. So in any other setting the Raccoon might’ve seemed annoying, but here – he steals the show.
- There is also the common problem of implying a large world, but never actually showing the journey through it. It feels incomplete.
I am not going to go into the plot and minor details, such as the Star Lord flying in open space with his hair exposed, the sometimes way too obvious makeup, and I am pretty sure that dance-offs were not a thing back in the 80s (though I could be worng). But it was a painfully average movie. It’s not a BAD movie, mind you. It’s just that it has very little of that which you have not seen anywhere else before. Except the Raccoon. He's awesome. Then again, Raccoons usually are.